Current Projects

It's the fourth day of my Chillax project and things have been pleasant - thank God - though I was all set to report my challenges daily.

We are on our way back from our NSW road trip. God has made it easy and smooth for us to visit 3 of my friends.
All praise to You.

Now we are about 400 km away from Melbourne. Plenty of time to blog!

So my Qur'an memorisation motivation has returned - yayy - after hearing that FYZ has passed the first chapter of the 29th Juz! I've covered the 30th Juz but haven't quite moved on to the 29th ad I keep forgetting the verses. But I thought, hey when else are you going to add any verses at all?

With that on its way, it means I need to do my daily reading after my prayers and not on the train, on the way to work! That was the commitment which has been neglected since...probably since I went on my long leave in October. Or even before that!

On top of the daily readings and memorizings, I'm also very keen to finish up my first publishing attempt: a little book of positive verses collection!

I'm super excited about this project because as far as I know, there hasn't been a book that summarizes the motivating points about God, sourced from the Qur'an itself! Of course - as I don't understand Arabic much - I'm just quoting another person's interpretation. But I think it's a good start to allow a chance for any English-speaker to access understandable points about God - and how wonderful God is.

That's the message I want to get across.

So there. My current exciting projects:
1. Daily reading after prayers.
2. Workday memorization. One verse a day.
3. Verse collection.

Let's try to stick to these goals!
In the name of God, the Most Merciful, the Ever Watchful.

The S Word

It was a very long Monday with two trips back and forth to the hospital for my UV therapy. I finally got it done and went to the nice little Sacred Space to perform my prayer at sunset.

During my first two rakaats I tried to revise my memorisation, however it wasn't easy - as the man in front of me recited EVERYTHING ALOUD throughout his whole prayer. He also had many more takbirs. His recitations were quite different although many parts are somewhat similar.

My focus shifted, could he be....?

After I finished praying I decided to sit for a while and watch the man. He kept on reciting praises quickly, repeatedly, and loudly!
Then his phone rang. Nokia. He put it on his right ear while continuing with his recitations.

I was getting more interested. I wanted to ask why he recited things loudly when it could distract others! But he didn't show any sign of being close to finish yet.

So I gathered my things and walked out where I put my shoes on. There was a young boy who'd been waiting around outside the room.

"Is that your Dad?" I asked him.

He said yes. Yayy!

"His praying was interesting" I smiled. "Where are you from?"

"From Iraq" he said. For some reason I was expecting Iran as his answer. Oh well.
The question finally came out.

"So...is it Shi'ah??"

He paused to process my question before he cheerfully nodded "Yes, yes Shi'ah!"

! ! !

Okay. Now what??

"Cool" I smiled and excused myself.

                               *   *   *

Few steps later I regret not asking the boy more questions, like:
▶Do you really hate Abu Bakr? Or Aisyah?
▶Do you consider Sunni people as your Muslim brothers?
▶anything else that had wondered in my head!

But one thing that lingered was...the boy looked so happy that I guessed his faith type, just like when people guessed if I was from Indonesia for example. If his belief was full of hatred and bad practices as I'd heard from many, then it's hard to explain why he reacted so positively to someone who looked like a typical South East Asian (Sunni?) Muslim like me.

Right?

Express Your Interest!

So after the Reshaping news it wasn't only me who lost the sense of direction. Apparently most people felt something significant was being taken away from them and, like me, everyone was eyeing on this new, much more senior, Account Director (AD) role on the Client Success division (CS) while knowing it is out of reach, considering what we do on day-to-day basis.

The following week was filled with various catch-ups.

I first caught up with my direct manager and she seemed to make the AD role even scarier and pushed the Student Success Division (SS) roles on me, challenging me on my "out of the box" contributions so far.

Stressed.

The next day I caught up with our Head of Operations who is my manager's manager. She was a very people-person and I was comfortable enough to let out my concerns about this New Shape. She shed a light by being very positive and excited about the new SS and how nothing we'd do will be the same as what we do now. She also emphasised on having many rooms of process improvements and becoming a champion at something.

Oh well, I could live with that.

But I wasn't very satisfied just to let go of the AD role.

I was being sneaky and decided to email another manager who'd been appointed as a Senior AD for a catch up. I knew if I become AD she'd possibly be my manager and I would LOVE to work with this one - I think she is awesome!
Soon enough my manager sent around an email encouraging everyone to approach any of the managers.

Perfect!

So the next day I sat with this awesomely happy manager. She was thrilled that I decided to approach her and she encouraged me even more to catch up with everyone before making any decision. She was also very open to share her own experiences and efforts which brought her to her current level. She shared with me her vision of what she and her future AD would work closely together daily, discussing strategies.

Drools.

Once I got back to my desk I quickly type an email to the Head of Client division - a high level lady who will be recruiting and whom I never spoke to ever - for a catch up. The next day I caught up with her and my manager. Like everyone else, she pushed the idea of the AD role being a long-term career goal. She talked about the high level of accountability and mentioned how many people chose the role simply because they were bored or wanted something different; and that's not a good enough reason for it.

I nodded knowing exactly what she meant. I said that at this stage I'm quite excited to go into any role and continue my progression, though my interest still lies on CS side. They both appreciated my positive look at it and encouraged me to go for it. If I don't get the role at least they'd know where my interest is; and I could seek some feedback for improvements.

Hey this isn't a bad idea!

Finally in the afternoon I sat with my manager who agreed to help me come up with some points against the selection criteria. It still required further brainstorming but I really appreciated everyone's time, encouragement and support I received so far.

I stepped out in a good mood and decided to stop by the CEO's office to say hi. He was very welcoming and we chatted about my presentation last time. I also told him I was going for the AD role and he was happy for me. The head of CS passed by and we shared casual jokes.

Wow. So this is what it feels like to enter the management team who drives the business...?

I looked back at the prayer I'd been saying lately:

Dear God, if the job is good for me and will make me a better worshipper of You, please bring it closer; and if not, please open my heart to be happy with whatever You decide for me.

Right now I have not formally applied for anything, yet I feel different. Maybe it's not really winning the role that I wished for. Maybe it's more the new connection with these great people that I actually wished for.

God is Greater. All praise to God, Lord of the worlds.

Handsome

I saw a handsome person on the train.

I was catching up on my daily Qur'an target on the way home from choir. When I looked up I realised the man sitting just in front of me was so handsome that I needed to look a few times - just to confirm my judgement.

I wasn't sure what my definition of handsome was but the person was surely good looking. Also, he dressed up really nicely. Light brown coat matching with the pants, with checkered shawl. Brown hand bag matching the brown neat hair! I was sure I wasn't the only one who'd think he was an eye candy.

If I were single I would probably wonder what he'd be like as a person, whether he had a girlfriend, what his girlfriend might be like, whether he noticed me right here.

But the thoughts that came to mind was...whether I could dress my husband up just like the style of this man! I was so tempted to ask where he got his coat from, how much it costed him etc. I was thinking of my husband wrapped in nice, classy outfit; and how it might change his life...

Okay, so the person has gotten off the train....

Hmm...thanks for the inspiration.

The Stage of High

This post relates to the last post I wrote, where I found myself energised full of ideas.
Well guess what. Last night at choir we had a guest conductor.

Light bulb!

I approached Tania and expressed my interest in conducting. Reality hit me. She and Shaun started asking me all these job-interview questions; have I had conducting experience; am I able to play an instrument well etc. I realised I couldn't say YES confidently to both questions although I did mention what I have done in the past.
So Tania got Shaun agree to take me "under his wings" so that I get a chance to learn a thing or two.

Happy about that.

All night I was thinking of how I want to use my chance - if given, someday.  I've been itching to work the choir on "Climb Every Mountain" so I hope Shaun wouldn't mind me playing around with that song.

So after choir I met my husband in the car. He too has been excited as he managed to get 27 people ordering his becoming-famous Bulgogi lunch pack for the camp this weekend! TWENTY SEVEN. I had to ask him to put a cap on the final number so that he wouldn't be overloaded.
That night he spent cutting and slicing all the meat really thinly.

***

It's funny just to step back and watch how the two of us are currently feeling excited, inspired and empowered. Whereas, usually we don't do anything major; mostly getting on with life; do whatever is necessary; live to sleep and sleep to live. I pray that God keeps guiding us to our own unique purpose in life; to serve Him in the way He wants us to; to be useful for the world; to share our well-designed strengths and talents to others; to hopefully bring others back to Him and prevent others going astray from His path.

Amiin.

On a Thursday Night

I don't know why but the train I'm riding is going at a superslow rate.

Time to blog away...!

So today work was under control. It was too under control that it became rather demotivating. I got to finish all my emails, made me calls, investigated odd things on my lists, even checked out the European hijab styles online! (well, didn't find very much).

I was ready to go with my To-Buy list. As soon as I stepped out of the office my smile appeared - for the blue sky, and the scattered thin clouds, and just..a pleasant atmosphere.

And of course, the excitement of SHOPPING!

I got even more excited entering the Bourke st Mall area, going through my list a few times...Argan oil...large sport bag...that korean lolly like what Kyleen gave me (si yummy!)...gift wrap...and teapot (turned out I didn't need a teapot; all I needed was a practical filter fir me to enjoy my loose-leave tea!)

All praise to God who guides me during shopping!

I also met a few sisters on my way around the city. I sent them Salaam (peace) whenever I dared.

There was a random man who entered the bag shop I was in, saying "Masya Allah..sister...assalaamualaikum sister"

And of course, I got excited and replied his Salaam until I looked around and realised he purposely entered the shop to approach me. Soon enough he started talking about I-don't-know-what but I assumed it was a version of money begging.

I quickly said sorry and freed myself into the next shop.

Ohh. I love entering these shops...where there are changes of atmosphere each time you enter!

All praise to God. My train moves as per normal now.

ReTurning Point

I just attended a womens seminar by a psychologist Dr. Seenam(?) at the CERES corner - by the way, what an interestingly huge hidden spot that is!

The seminar was about Self-esteem.
Just what I need.
I've managed to take an RDO for this, mainly.

It was alright. Speaker tried to be interactive. I tried to be responsive - in the end I was given gift (yes, scarf!) I think because of my participation. Thanks ladies!

So anyhow, during the seminar I realised most of the things we discussed were nothing new. I've thought about them again and again. I've planned to make a change again and again.

But it all seemed to be forgotten; no longer on my To-do list! What happened there? Did I become too comfortable with my life these days that I completely neglect my self concerns?

Maybe.

You can tell by the random topics of my blog posts. I meant to take it as a project, to monitor my progress.

My progress from being who I am today, to being who I want to be.

That means - simply put - the following:

1. Don't indulge in negative thoughts
2. Remember to recite and communicate with God
3. Control my level of irritability at home
4. Get up on time for morning prayer and start the day there and then!

There you go.

I won't put too many things for I know it ain't easy to make ONE change!

So let's see what life throws at me - or rather, what tests God will present me with - and how I'd react to these!

So I start this...in the name of God the Most Merciful the Most Loving the Most Watchful.

Time ~

It is true what they say, about how time passes by more quickly as you get older.

When you are very young you just can't wait for the hours to pass. For the day to end. For school term to finish. To get older (though I don't remember myself being so keen on getting older).

Yet the clock seemed to really takes its time. Testing your patience.

Maybe that's because we were not able to do much. We waited for the school bus to come. Waited to get picked up from school. Waited for parents to come home. Waited for maids to prepare dinner. Waited and waited.

But now that we have learnt to make things happen, time seems to run away from us.

Wait up!
Wait - I'm not ready to get up!
Wait - I'm not ready to leave the house!
Wait - I'm not ready to jump on the phones!
Wait - I'm not ready to leave the office as my work is piling up!
Wait - I'm not ready for bedtime as I just had dinner!

Could you just PAUSE for a while!?

No.

Time never does pause. That is the way God has intended. We need to "make the most of it".

I need to be aware of what I'm doing each moment. I need to make sure I don't lose time to wasteful things.

Oh great. I've missed my stop at Westall Mosque!

Leftover

I subscribe to the spiritual SMS messaging team by AA Gym, a well known speaker in Indonesia.

Today it posted a question of why we give God the leftover. We do our prescribed prayer once our business is done. We recite and glorify Him after we chat with friends. We spend on charity for His sake out of our leftover shopping money. We read His Words when we're free from playing...

Meanwhile, God always gives us the best. We are given the best shape. The best ability. Health. Life. Solutions to our problems. Etc.

I thought, that is so true.

I spreaded the message to a few groups of friends. Some of them agreed instantly.

But how do we change this? How do we come out of our wordly hussle and bussle routines?

How do we put God as priority? And not just as a mere verbal promise.

I sooo would love it if there was an instant way of "getting there". Being God-conscious at all time. Feeling calm and content in any situation.

I tasted a bit of that state during my pilgrimage last year. God was the centre of my daily activities. My mouth recited prayer and glorification all the time (cause our group leader had been telling us to do this since before the trip). My mind was full of awe to experience new things around me. If not, it was busy thinking what time to sleep, to get up, to eat -- so that I could arrange the best condition for the next prayer session with Him. So that I could get a nice spot to communicate with Him. So that I could have enough time to read His Words.

That's all that matters.

Of course things weren't perfect. In fact, a lot of things went wrong. People were not always nice and kind and perfect. Yet we all seemed to keep our cool head, reminding one another that God was testing us in many different ways.

It was peaceful and beautiful.

Sadly, a pilgrimage is not meant to go forever. Shortly after the main, intense pilgrimage week, we were out of ihram and we were free to do anything we want, or to go anywhere we want.

I guess the real tests begin even after you've come home from a pilgrimage. You're thrown back into your routine of full-time work, household matters and social groups that await you.

And it is so easy to lose your sense of direction...

Another hot day

Today the temperature was peaking up again. Oven hot air burst out when I stepped out of the office.
I'm sure it's now anywhere in the 40's.

Alhamdulillaah...

I really want to be one of those who are grateful for whatever situations thrown at them. Afterall, that's what the Prophet pbuh said; we are fortunate since we are patient when calamities overcome us and we are grateful when good things happen to us - well, at least for some of us, we try to be that way.

It reminds me of a lovely sister I met in the Pilgrimage journey last year who recently got diagnosed for an ovary tumour kind of disease. She announced the news with somewhat grateful sense as this situation makes her believe that she is strong enough to go through it, so she said.

I was amazed.

Back to the heat. I realise I get runny nose when it's really hot in my surrounding. I'm just glad I'm now in the train with air conditioner - and I got a seat too. That's definitely something to thank God for.

Hey. Maybe that's it!

I can focus my blog posts on turning things into gratitude! I do feel like I tend to look at things the negative way; the glass often seems half empty.

That just locks me in the darkness,missing out on all the beauty and joy around me.

In the name of God the Merciful. I'm going to start my Gratitude Project!