Ok I haven't posted anything for, like, two months! My train rides had been filled up with replying hundreds of Whatsapp messages, standing up trying not to fall onto othet passengers, or jobhunting (again!). No more writing.
Life is still interesting. My baby belly is getting obvious during the day - but disappearing when I lie down.
My in-laws are here and we've been busy these days. I spent more time in the kitchen than ever!
But most importantly - what I wanted to talk about this time around - I think I found the WHOLE POINT of life.
Through the picnic session with the YIMSA girls few weeks ago, God reminded me that all things good and bad are given by Him; and that we shall ACCEPT them and ask HIM for what we want. That's so that we achieve happiness by content.
It's not easy in practise but God has many ways to test us so that we can try again and again to achieve this happiness. Eventually we'd master the tricks and it'd become easier for us to accept, let go, communicate and be happy.
God reminded me, again, through the dawn sermon at the masjid last Sunday. The speaker chose the "love for God" as the topic. It was good; I was glad these people started to insert the "love" component into religious sermon. So it's not just about do's, dont's, punishments, and degrading-the-audience kind of talks. Enough of those! Seriously.
Anyways, he talked about how God is an amazing trainer for each and every one of us. Drawing relevant stories from the prophets, he pointed out that God wants us to detach from our love for this world, our family, our money, our status - basically His creations. Instead we should always focus on our love and trust to Him.
For example, Moses was thrown into the river as a baby (the mother was tested of her trust in God) - just like how Abraham had to slaughter his dear son!; then as a grown man he was instructed to throw away his stick which became a snake! (God shows how wordly life is a temporary illusion); he hit his stick on the ground and the sea split apart (our effort has nothing to do with the outcome - it is God who gives us the outcome while we can only try our best!); just like how Hager ran between two hills to find water before the water sprinkles near baby Ismail.
It is God who gave that water, and not the running. It is God who gives us good grades to graduate, not the studying. It is God who gives us a promotion, not the hours we spend working. It is so easy to attribute our success to our own efforts or even to someone else (eg. our manager) but the true Giver is God - the One who loves being asked for things from. How ironic.
So really, this life is all about self-improvement, to become the best version of who we are.
Each day and moment God is watching, giving us a choice, a test, and the opportunity for us to practise, to be better.
Until the end of our time on Earth, the end of our opportunity to strive, the end of all struggles, when hopefully we have come a long way being our best self. That's when we return to Him, to our Creator, our "Trainer" who's been guiding us all along. And hopefully by that time He'd be pleased with us, with our efforts throughout our lives, to prove our love.
There then, the true happiness begins.
