Back to Square One

My career seems to bring me back to the place where I've spent 6 years as a tertiary student.

I decided to take a walk during this lunch break and now hesitated whether it was a bad decision. Every step I took was flooded with memories.

Ten....years...ago...

I was right here.
I was busy sorting out my notes for my Japanese classes. My fun, fun Japanese classes. I was upstairs submitting my assignments.
I was at the balcony attending some sort of students function. I was in that building logging into the computers to do my study groups. I was walking on this path, from one class to another; or killing time; or simply enjoying the smell of eucalyptus trees.
I was in that library trying to find sources for my Psych essays; or my Qur'anic study essays.
I was at that tram stop. Every single day. Going home, exhausted from all the walking.

And I am back. No longer studying. No longer crossing paths with my many uni friends...

They've all moved on. Since ten years ago...

GP Day Twenty One

The weekend free course by Authentic Education has opened my eyes to see that being grateful is not about acknowledging the things that have gone wrong while emphasizing unrelated other matters that are deemed positive.

Instead, it is about really looking at each incident that has gone wrong and really figure out the wisdom and lessons they have brought to your current life.

That is the true appreciation. True gratitude.

GP Day Twenty

It's my second last day at my current job.

FOR REAL.

I've been watching Raisa videos on Youtube - stemming from listening to Tulus' music, actually. Her songs are just average. But she is, indeed, nice to look at. Good make-up, perhaps; and I like her clothes too!

So I found some videos where they both perform a series of duets.
What a perfect life.
It made me want to go back into my youth and get involved in music and bands.
What a dream.

The clocks don't go backwards, so I could simply be grateful for what God's provided me with all my life to this moment.

I'm grateful to be married to a good man who is very patient with me being a drama queen.

I'm grateful to have somewhat good relationships with people from various departments at work.

I'm grateful to still be alive today and get the chance to do good deeds for His sake.

GP Day Nineteen

This is going to be my LAST WEEK at my current job!!!!!!!!

Can't describe how happy and relieved I feel after all the dramas today.

As you know, I've started losing my motivation towards mid-2014 as the departmental "reshape" was taking away tasks which I enjoyed doing.
Soon enough I found myself sitting in a new team, with a newly promoted manager, and with no team dynamics at all.

The dragging days began and continued until THIS WEEK!

In December I applied for a job; attended the interview; gone through the reference checks; and was not successful for the role. However, they mentioned an alternative position!

The time line looks like this:

24 Dec
- lady on voicemail told me I wasn't successful but there's another opening and if interested I should contact Pman. Emailed Pman; got missed calls; got a reply from Pman and responded to it with questions.

31 Dec
- Pman called and explained the role and wanted me to start on Jan 13th!! Though my job requires a 4 week notice!!!. Checked with Sl as my manager (JD) was on leave, negotiated with Pman, twice! Pman can hold my offer until Monday morning (5th Jan) when he wants answer!

5 Jan
- Grabbing any chance to talk to JD...and PT from HR. JD checked with his manager and told me the earliest I could leave is on Jan 16th. Called Pman who needs to check and get back.
- (noon) Got missed call from Pman; voicemail saying he was sorry nothing he could do to hold for another week. Felt devastated, angry and confused.
Grabbed PT and teared up; PT spoke to JD. JD told me they can let me go at the end of this week (9th Jan).

What!!??
After all that I've gone through; losing my very chance...!!?

Angry and worried. Got email from Pman saying he would take back the offer in the next 30 minutes. Replied instantly! Saying I can start next week!

Phew....job secured. Cought up with PT about resignation letter. Happy. Relieved.

Got email from Pman to confirm; and a call from Pman to offer part-time option. Yayyyy!!

The rest of the day was just non-focused.

God...I know You have the best plans for me. Thank You for letting me remember You in times of distress.

New Year

It is January. 2015.
It is also, a Friday.

Honestly, this time it wasn't a big deal for me - other than a good topic for small talks.
I didn't even think of a list of resolutions this time.
My head has been filled with too many agendas: moving into a new, contract role soon; planning a New Zealand winter trip; working on my "God" book; while balancing my social time with the Indo community, choir mates, and the miscelleanious.

And!...trying to get pregnant.
YES.

The will power is finally here! I'll hit 30 this year and that's originally my target age to become a mother, at the latest. I've reached the latest now so I need to put MORE focus on this project.

I've got too many projects already going on. I don't need another kind of resolution for the new year.

God...thank You so much for having taken a good care of me and my family in the last....forever. Please keep me STRONG in my faith in You...and in my will power.
Please keep my mind and heart clear to see the important goals in my life.