Seems like it's been 3 weeks that my husband hasn't been working. He was let go on a Friday, during Ramadhan, to all my shock. Since then he's been looking, applying and attending interviews for his next job.
Meantime in my office things are business as normal. My days still feel long and flat. I come to work, spread my hellos and few smiles, sit on my chair and get ready to do my work. Then the day just goes pass, slowly, until it is 5:00pm. I log off the phone and computer, spread my byes and walk out.
Flat and dry.
My weekend was quite awesome, though - which sort of helps. I decided to invite my friends over for lunch, singing and general catch-up. It was meant to celebrate my birthday. I was glad the majority of invitees turned up. I was glad they all loved the food. I was glad they all got along, even though they may not know one another that well.
Thank God everything went smoothly on that day.
I felt the need to maintain the relationship with my friends. Who are my friends?
That would be simply people I'm comfortable to be around with. There are plenty of people I wish to befriend. Smart, popular, successful, good-looking people in my world. After all, they say you will be just like your friends hence choose your friends carefully.
But I'm now tired of trying to be included. Tired of pretending I belong. Tired of those polite small talks. I just want to be able to be myself, express my thoughts, laugh, and where possible, do a creative project together. That'd be my perfect friendship.
I have to believe in God to lead me to the "right" persons. Those who help me learn and grow but are comfortable enough with my personality.
