GP Day Five

Ok. Two more stations to go!
Lets write quickly.

I'm grateful that today I still had the strength to drag myself out the house, and into work. I'm glad that my manager is not fussy about me being late. Maybe having a male boss is not as bad as I thought!

I'm grateful that the sun is shining as I stepped out this afternoon. I've also killed lots of tasks today while listening to Joe Hishaishi and other relaxing youtube videos. Lovely! I hope my last day before the holidays will be going smoothly, and all sufficient.

I'm grateful that my blogger friend posted a God-related question which I found interesting: if evidence shows God doesn't exist, would you still believe He exists? First I found it bizzare just cause all my life all I've heard is that God exists, plus the tons of evidence to show this in our lives. So it's quite challenging to imagine a state where all you've found is proofing otherwise! At this stage I might say: what have you been using your senses and logic for all this time that you haven't realised the existance of a Creator???

Anyways, I love God-talks. Especially the positive, encouraging ones.

GP Day Four

I'm grateful I got into this train on time - and even got a seat!

I'm grateful that I managed to find most of the things I needed to get for friends and relatives before my trip. Winter baby clothes are no longer sold in the stores but I got some thick blanket and cute reversable summer hat for DN's newborn (hoping she'll be born soon!).
I got that Adriano Zumbo brownie mix for RN which was surprisingly easy to find at the supermarket.
Oh and I got the One Direction movie for IT though was kind of embarrassed to ask aroung the store for it. It was waaay cheaper than I expected, too!
I have only got one item left to find: crochet threads (or and book?) for AK. I wonder if I'd have time to sneak into Lincraft tomorrow after work...

It feels really good to get these stuff for other people. You can pick and choose what pleases your eyes most and not having to worry whether they'd be put to a good use or not. Gifts are always exciting!

I wish I could do this more: shopping for gifts. I enjoy looking around and buying things but I don't want to have to keep or maintain them. So buying and giving gifts is PERFECT.

It's just that I don't get a lot of opportunities to do it. Our families are overseas so we keep missing out on birthdays, weddings or newborn moments.We don't celebrate Christmas so I don't go on a shopping spree during that season. The rest of the time? I simply forgot whose important moments were coming up hence didn't allow enough time to prepare the gifts.

Dear God, thank You for guiding me to the right places and the right things.
Thank You for helping me please others through a good deed of giving.
Thank You for giving me the time, energy, and money to be able to fulfill this mission.

Make me one of those people whom You love; who spend their resources to spread peace and joy to others; who can care about others; who put others' needs before theirs; who can be royal yet maintain a humble heart.

GP Day Three

It's Monday again.
Had a lively Friday - lots of dancey exercising at the company function.
Lazy Saturday and Sunday mornings. Thought I got to clean the house and redecorate the stair case walls with our uniformed-frame photos.

I'm grateful that this week is going to be shorter with Friday off. Yes. I'm flying out for a 3-week holiday and I can hardly wait!

I'm grateful that my manager has organised the handover training quite early, saving us all from the last minute stress.

I'm grateful that I was strong enough to throw those vanilla coated almonds away, as they gave me a bloated sensation.

I'm grateful that I got to consume my experimentally bought bunch of kale leaves. I was meant to trial making kale chips but didn't find the time in the last... two weeks! So I just boiled it hoping it's not yet poisoneous.

I'm grateful that God stopped the rain from pouring when I left my office. Though my cardigan is so not warm enough for this weather, I got to walk to the station with VK and had a nice chat about migrating to here. That really helps.

Dear God. Please help me to always be thankful to You - for that is all that we deserve to do.

GP Day Two

Heart: quite happy and content

Concerns: bloated tummy. Snacking too much on vanilla-coated almonds.

I'm so grateful today that I got to catch-up with SK who's left the office early last year! She looked great and happy as always and is now working in the city too. So we could potentially catch-up again another time!

We had a two-hour chat around work life, family, mothering and parenting as she now has an 18-yo active boy. It always fascinates me to hear about the routines and activities in other household. It often inspires me to try out something new.

Back at work, I've also been reading this long article about how to make your marriage works.

So let me think of a few things I thought I should try out:

1. Less nagging, complaining and instructing

2. Build an interest in the things he likes doing

3. Conversation less on duties-updates and more on thoughts-feelings.

4. Exercise!

I'm grateful that my husband is always willing to pick me up at the station at a prescribed time.

I'm grateful that we only spent $10 for tonight's dinner. Also grateful that my husband shares some money for my eat-out expenses.

I'm grateful that my friend TR is talking to me again after the sad news she went through. I'm thankful that God still gives her patience and more motivation to become pregnant again soon.

I wonder when I would be pregnant. Would it ever happen to me?

I'm grateful that God is always watching me and protecting me. I'm glad he knows everything and arranges everything so I'm able to go about my daily business. I'm grateful He eases my eczma around my neck and eases the sharp pain in my throat.

Thank You God. Thanks for this life.

The Gratitude Project

Started as a fb challenge from a friend.
Thought, why only do it for 3 days?

Let's continue FOREVER.

I'm grateful that my work day is over and I'm going to stop by the supermarket to meet my husband. We planned to cook chicken noodles for dinner. Yum!

This morning sad news approached: my friend's 5-month-old fetus died. I can't imagine what that would've felt like to a first time mother.

But I'm grateful that she survived. I'm praying that God gives them patience and wisdom, and protects them from despair.

I'm also grateful to have submitted yet another application for the internal AD role despite the unimpressive chat I had yesterday with the recruiting manager. I've spent days thinking and writing up my application so I'm so glad I got to send it in, complete with some supporting emails as evidence. Plus, my manager said he was pleased to see that I applied.

I pray that God opens a door for me to contribute my skills and make a difference in this world, with joy.

I'm grateful that the girls at work started to get excited about the company function this Friday night - because it gives them a reason to dress up! I've planned on what I'm going to wear. I'm glad that I've been prepared. I'm also grateful that BR was kind enough to offer me her place to get change. I'm glad that I wouldn't have to come alone.

Dear God. This afternoon as I finished my prayer, I realised that there's nothing You expect from us, really, except being grateful for all the things You've given us. Life..health..food..friends..good weather..talents..ease..love.....
The list never ends.

I want to get better in this area.
I want to become...
The Gratitude Queen.

Living with God

I  just love reading people's blog posts, especially ones that are personal and full of inner thoughts.
Like today. I've continued reading a friend's blog about living with God.

What's that all about?

Deep down I know how it feels. I've been there before, quite recently, and for a very short period of time.
It was last year.
When I performed Hajj to Makkah, Saudi Arabia.

Each of my 24-hour day was split into these things:
- dzikir / remembrance of God
- shalat / the physical prayer
- good deeds for body (sleep, eat, shower, laundry)
- good deeds for others (carry one's bag, offer one a spot, smiling and positive chatting)
- any combination of the above

My days seemed very simple. Very happy.

And peaceful.

We all got briefed that Hajj is a journey towards God's house (Ka'bah) therefore whoever made it over there are guests of God's. Only God can allow and invite one's physical body all the way there; it doesn't matter how much money or preparations one has planned with.

Because of this, everything during the journey was provided by the One Almighty. All the guests have to do is remembering Him, being thankful, and doing good deeds whenever opportunity comes.

That was all I focused on.

Theoretically, it's just about the state of mind. You don't need to be in  the Middle East just to be God-conscious. Right?

But in practice, I find it very very difficult to return to that "state" once I've come back to my normal life. I find it difficult to spend some quality time with God - as my blogger friend puts it.
And I find it too easy to worship another god; whether it be my work coleagues, my husband, my phone, my facebook, my sleep, my junk food, my house, my clothes and the list never ends.

Honestly? I'm sad about this. I really miss being on that "state".
All the distractions from my day-to-day worldly routines have worn me down. I'm too tired to spend more time praying. I'm too lazy to spend more time reading God's words (the Qur'an). I'm too depressed to meet people who talk about religion.

I'm too lost - I need to do something, fast!
I don't want to waste my life. I don't want to end up in massive regret. I don't want to be those people who wonder "if only...".

But where do I start...