Living with God

I  just love reading people's blog posts, especially ones that are personal and full of inner thoughts.
Like today. I've continued reading a friend's blog about living with God.

What's that all about?

Deep down I know how it feels. I've been there before, quite recently, and for a very short period of time.
It was last year.
When I performed Hajj to Makkah, Saudi Arabia.

Each of my 24-hour day was split into these things:
- dzikir / remembrance of God
- shalat / the physical prayer
- good deeds for body (sleep, eat, shower, laundry)
- good deeds for others (carry one's bag, offer one a spot, smiling and positive chatting)
- any combination of the above

My days seemed very simple. Very happy.

And peaceful.

We all got briefed that Hajj is a journey towards God's house (Ka'bah) therefore whoever made it over there are guests of God's. Only God can allow and invite one's physical body all the way there; it doesn't matter how much money or preparations one has planned with.

Because of this, everything during the journey was provided by the One Almighty. All the guests have to do is remembering Him, being thankful, and doing good deeds whenever opportunity comes.

That was all I focused on.

Theoretically, it's just about the state of mind. You don't need to be in  the Middle East just to be God-conscious. Right?

But in practice, I find it very very difficult to return to that "state" once I've come back to my normal life. I find it difficult to spend some quality time with God - as my blogger friend puts it.
And I find it too easy to worship another god; whether it be my work coleagues, my husband, my phone, my facebook, my sleep, my junk food, my house, my clothes and the list never ends.

Honestly? I'm sad about this. I really miss being on that "state".
All the distractions from my day-to-day worldly routines have worn me down. I'm too tired to spend more time praying. I'm too lazy to spend more time reading God's words (the Qur'an). I'm too depressed to meet people who talk about religion.

I'm too lost - I need to do something, fast!
I don't want to waste my life. I don't want to end up in massive regret. I don't want to be those people who wonder "if only...".

But where do I start...