Spouse for Granted

I was standing inside a packed train carriage on the way home from work. Everyone was looking down at their gadgets, including a tall young man who sat right infront of me.

His right hand was busy scrolling around his mobile phone, while his left hand was holding something small. It was a little golden paper wrap with a sticker that says Heigh's.

Aww. How sweet.

Did he stopped by the chocolate shop to bring home a little delight for his girl friend?

How I wish I got such gift from my "other half".

Oh wait.

I was the one who usually do this kind of thing. I tend to go for little sweets pit stops. And sometimes - yeah sometimes - I bring some home as a surprise treat.

Then my mind went back to an unpleasant conversation I just had:

Me: Hey Im getting on the train..can you pick me up?

Him: Mmmmhhh..??? I thought you were going to the Masjid

Me: (clearly you don't read my messages!) The class is cancelled so Im going straight home

Him: Errggghh...but Im just taking a nap

Me: (really? don't you miss me? aren't you happy that I get to spend time with you more?) Can you take a nap afterwards instead?

Him: Agghhh....fine!

Me: (feeling horrible)

So why does it seem that married couple are somehow less attached to each other and less in love?

Last night we had a good discussion in the car, about differences in marriages.

My observation led me to think that although inter cultural marriage tends to be viewed as a challenge by most people, the two parties involved usually come prepared. They know they are different to start with. So it is their expectation to face differences everyday, and it is a nice surprise to realise any similarities between them.

On the other hand, normal marriages of people from similar background are actually not as easy as people think. This is because the two parties tend to overlook their differences and hence expectations soar high - that the other person would do the things they do, like the things they like, etc.

Similarities are expected.

They're taken for granted.

Now the differences become the surprise - and in many cases, not a very nice one!

So what do you think of my theory?

*     *     *

I continued to reflect throughout the train journey. When we finally met each other, the happy smile was not shining as much as usual.

I had my other reasons too - lack of sleep due to eczma madness.

After finishing my late afternoon prayer I took some time to sit down and start writing this.

He came down and sat next to me. His voice was broken because of the flu he was suffering from.

"You know what I did today while staying home?" he said. "I was checking facebook and looking at your photo in pink clothes. So cute."

My heart lights up.

"I really miss you."

All praise to God who made us a married couple so that we can freely express our love for each other while, at the same time, please Him.