Lost

This is the first time I write a blog post during my work hours. I was going to take a walk for the morning break but it's too cold and windy outside that I decided to sit around in my favourite place - a lobby with high ceilings, sofas and people's chatters.

These days I came to work feeling flat - like I couldn't care much. About my work. About those students. About my manager's perceptions. About socialising with anyone. Just about anything I used to care about.

It seemed that nothing was really happening at work. Nothing was changing - despite the big waves of announcements about the Reshape we heard last month. So far it was business as usual. With less intensity and volume, for some reason. At least, in my case.

I've started looking for other jobs out there, from university, to government, to banking (I know!). I felt so clueless I didn't know where my career was heading to. My husband just lost his job last week and it was weird and a little shocking at first. He's having a few interviews today so I'm hoping for the best for him, for our family.

All this job-hunting led me away from my wifey goals and I seem to have lost it somewhere in the middle. I don't want to stay here because I'm just so bored with my days. But I don't want to start a new career from scratch altogether because I need to settle down and stress less - or even plan a maternity leave - well, for the future. And so....I'm just confused.

Dear God....what is it that You want us to do at this point of time... we both are so lost in our career - especially me. Where can I go to find that peace and contentment...
What should I do....
Please have mercy on us and please guide me every step of the way....