I bought a large print Qur'an over the weekend, thinking that it would motivate me to read more as my vision is blurred without the hard lense. So yesterday I pushed myself to try and open its pages again, hoping it would help sooth my hurt soul. It felt so good to read off the large print! Qur'ans these days try to fit so many different things into a compact size and I always have to winch to be able to see the tiny Arabic letters.
I felt... okay, after reading a few pages. I didn't expect any sudden inspiration or anything. But I knew God is always watching and very appreciative of the little things we do for His sake.
That night we found a movie on Netflix called Daddy's Girls. If you haven't seen it, the story is set in the poor, black community where a good-man father lost his custody of the beloved three girls to his ex-partner who lives with a drug dealer. It is so frustrating to see how the legal system doesn't help as he doesn't have enough money to afford a good lawyer.
There was this scene where he went to Church and the priest was talking about holding on through tough times in life. He told his people that God was about to do his miraculous work on you. That the sign of this is when you feel like you're about to faint! That all we need to do is keep that faith and don't give up.
I felt that God was talking to me right there and then. I was at my lowest to the point where I just wanted to stop trying. Demotivated to achieve anything in life. Maybe I haven't been tested with losing family members like the man in the movie. Maybe I haven't had to face a terrible disaster in life. Maybe my life has been smooth. Finance was easy. Career was easy. Friends were easy. Finding a spouse was easy. Being at home is easy...
But that is my test.
I should not give up being thankful for what I've been given.
It is a tough one, but I need to strive to hold on this positive attitude.
I must strive to make a good use of the resources I've got: my energy, my health, my time, my money.
And when things start to be overwhelmingly difficult, I must remember:
... God is about to do His miraculous work on me.
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